the light in dark

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."


Last week, the two most curious, wiley, and loving pups in our family ran away, and were both killed on the highway. 
Its been a tumultuous week. It was so tragic and abrupt that my mind felt like it was locked in a pool of jelly, while by heart was broken. Death is such a curious thing; I'm not sure how people find the words to bring it into the light, and to understand it. I guess it's just something to be felt. 


We found Mota, the stoic, most beautiful dog I've ever seen, first. She was the alpha out of the two sisters. Coincidentally, her sister, Rafa, was mostly black: just like a shadow. She followed Mota everywhere. Rafa was certainly the baby of our family; she was my little bear, with her thick dark fur, and giant fluffy paws. We searched for hours in torrential rain to find Rafa, but headed back for a few hours rest. In the morning we searched again, but got a call that she had been found as well, and that she was gone.


I think its best that they are still together; I really don't think that Yin and Yang can be separated, and there still be balance-- Rafa would lose all her spirit if Mota wasn't by her side in life. 


Since they were really my sister's dogs, it was so hard to watch her bury her children. We dug a hole under the maple tree and laid them back to back; she stood with them and covered them with dirt handful by handful, closing their wounds. 


I think it's so important that you find the closure you need in situations like this. Even if it is for a creature unlike a human; if you feel like a dog was your spirit guide, I think that that creature would want you to move on, to not lose yourself. I personally felt their spark so much in life, that I have no doubt their spirits will move on into other lives. I think Mota will be a constellation somewhere, and Rafa will be a bear cub next Spring : )


While it is hard not hearing them wake up in the morning, or finding them lounging on the deck in the sun, or tangling my fingers in Rafa's fur while I give her a thousand kisses, I feel them still with me. Their flame. I'm so grateful that they were in my life, and I think I can move on because of the strength they showed in life. 

adieu my babies, namaste, and love